Dear Benny,
How's your course? Started already? Me...I'm okay thus far since its a new job at task, a lot of work involve but can manage for sure. We can't be together huh? No matter how it goes? We can't turn back nor front because of you. I recall giving you space to breathe and think seems like i was choking you till you face no comfort. I am suffering my dearest.
Guess basically our time is up huh? Miss you a lot still, I wish at times you weren't so cold upon our relationship (what we've been through). I actually would really like to know how it came about to this problem. But you couldn't even tell me the reason why? You kept saying that you are lying to yourself of what's been going on or the fact you found loneliness in your heart till at one point it became your weakness. It is okay to fear of it you are not alone (i fear this day would come and it has) thus you let go of this.
I wish we could talk face to face about it. I am sorry that i am digging back the past but past is what makes us, us. Last night thinking about it made me realize I need a restart button /reformat. Guess like last time how I am able to overcome it of you. Thank you for teaching me the lessons of loving another and myself. Actually I wish things could be really another adventure for us but you are not allowing for it to happen so i can't force. Forcing my way to your mind and heart ain't taking me anywhere. I wish there were ways we can resolve our issue...not at this moment when you are grieving yourself. Still i can't win your favor or heart.
A little sad speaking to a diary than you. As it has no bound to respond, this is where i can just repeat myself over and over. My best bud Nic was right, I need a little black book where I pour my feelings of what i need to really say to you a lot. Somehow talking to you ain't helping to soothe my thoughts. I thought it was but isn't, hopefully I find a good chap that trully loves me as you did before. Having an adventure with you was a timeless fairytale but it is ashamed that it ended ever so quickly.
I was really looking forward to meet your family especially your parents as i did not introduce myself properly to them just hiding behind the scene somehow its just my luck on our situation. Just one thought did you ever want me to meet your parents? I know it doesn't matter somehow i should not ask. Never had the intention to complicate things further. Wanting to be by your side always and always, hoping to be able to talk to you more. Praying in turn you may change your ways and mind to give chance for what maybe real in your life and mine. Now what i want to know is everything about you as i do not know you like a stranger who doesn't know anything of you.
For the record, I don't feel i know you at all anymore. Hopefully Friday, you'll pick up my call. Right now I need is to face up the world. (Contd)
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